Finding a Therapist

Look closely at a therapist’s website to get an idea about their background and perspective.

Don’t be put off if the website isn’t stellar. Not everyone is good at creating one. But it should give basic information about their philosophy, scope of practice and payment policies.

If you call someone and get their voicemail, let them know if you were referred by someone, and/or if you chose to call them because of something mentioned on their website that makes you think they may be a good fit for you. Doing this increases your chances of a getting an appointment with someone who may otherwise be ambivalent about whether they can take another client.

• Ask if they offer a free initial phone consultation.

Some therapists will offer you 15 to 30 minutes, which can provide you with more information before scheduling an appointment. Be prepared with questions you might have about:

• Therapy in general

• The therapist’s training

• Their perspective on why therapy helps

• Billing policies

• Anything else you are curious about

Other therapists will not offer this option, because they prefer to answer your questions and provide info during the first session, especially if it’s covered by insurance. This can provide a more relaxed setting than a brief phone interview. It’s a matter of preference on both sides.

Research supports that it is the relationship between a therapist and client that is the most important variable affecting successful outcomes from therapy. Starting therapy is by its nature an uncomfortable situation. A good therapist knows this and wants to put you at ease. They should be comfortable answering any questions you have. They should listen attentively and non-judgmentally. Trust your instincts. It can take a while to figure out if somebody is right for you, but if you think enough time has gone by to begin to get to know one another, move on if they talk more than you do, if they give unhelpful advice, or if they make you feel disrespected or uncomfortable in any way.

Good therapy can be painful at times, but it should always feel intrinsically right.

If something hurts your feelings, if you feel confused about a comment or just aren’t sure about how things are going, tell your therapist these concerns. A good therapist will speak to your concerns and will not be defensive about your asking. Therapists make mistakes. Sometimes clients might also hear something differently than it was intended. But you should never be made to feel bad about questioning anything that goes on in therapy. Clearing up such misunderstandings is a basic part of the therapeutic process, and a good therapist welcomes the opportunity to engage in this kind of dialogue.

© Claire Brown 2021
Do not copy or distribute without author’s permission.